A variety of relationship wreckers may be to blame if there’s more snoozing than sexual intimacy going on between your sheets. More often than not, in long term relationships, sex loses precedence, becoming downplayed and put on the backburner. It’s no longer a priority for one or both partners. This occurs because “life happens” – you’re too tired, distracted, emotional, there are other issues within the relationship, or you could be over the same old boring sex with your partner. Additional factors could include stress, health issues, painful sex, or some psychological issues.

Over time, decreased physical intimacy results in diminishing libido – or lack of sexual desire. When it comes to low sex drives, I tell my clients to focus on self-care areas (emotional, mental, practical, physical, sexual, and spiritual). Self-care is subjective and is whatever you deem it to be, as long as it contributes to improving your well-being. I firmly believe that practicing self-care and prioritizing your needs results in a boost in self-confidence, which does wonders for your sex life. In this instance, I would emphasise sexual self-care by encouraging the engagement of activities that remind us that sex is a normal human function and that being sexual is part of what makes us human.

3 self-help exercises to increase your sex drive:-

  1. Masturbate. OFTEN! Even when you aren’t in the mood. Use your hands or experiment with sex toys. By masturbating often, you get your body used to receiving pleasure, and you begin to desire it more. Use different strokes, speeds, textures, and pressures. Masturbate in front of (or with) your partner. This can be a turn on for you both, and it allows him to learn how to please you better.
  2. Have sex frequently. Just like with masturbation, the more you do it, the more you’ll want it. If spontaneous sex is impossible, don’t be afraid to schedule it.
  3. Foreplay! Foreplay ensures that both partners are at their peak of arousal at the time of intercourse. Foreplay can help build anticipation before the act (through role-play, sexting, etc.). It is also great for improving intimacy in the relationship outside of the bedroom.